My personal experience in this current reality
I’ve been so aware recently (as I’m sure we all have) of the intense suffering, fear and anxiety that is sweeping across the planet quicker than Covid-19 is. The fear and grief in particular are palpable.
Healers are not exempt from experiencing crisis points, and I myself have had about a week or so of crying from the depths, anxiety, overwhelm, confusion, fear, anger...you name it, I’ve felt it! I’m sure that so many of us are feeling the same. It’s a pendulum swing from one emotion to the next. It can be difficult to remain calm, centred and grounded in the midst of so much chaos. Empaths will be feeling this more than ever as we are absorbing the energies of everyone that we are energetically linked to and also the energies of our local community and the world at large.
We are living in uncertain and scary times. The virus and its ripple effect is affecting all of us in completely unique ways. Many people believe that we are at the dawning of a new world, but I’ll give my perspective on that later on in this blog.
I’ve been finding that old triggers have been coming to the surface. I had a few days of distress at the fact that I hadn't been in a strong enough state to write anything of value to my followers and I could feel the clock ticking and the pressure building as I scrolled through articles and saw so many people trying to lift the spirits of their fellow humans. Why couldn't I do this in such a time of panic? I reflected on this feeling and recognised that my ego was in a terribly fearful state too. That anxiety had gripped me and that old wounds surrounding not feeling good enough and feeling out of control had resurfaced. I was not in a state of trust and surrender. I was resisting my current reality with everything that I had. I’m sure that many of you can relate to this too. I realised in that moment that I still have so much work to do, and that this is ok as we are always in the process of learning and evolving.
A journey of discovery
A few nights ago I decided to journey with the intention of uncovering more about what is currently happening on our planet. What I discovered was obvious…. this virus is bringing fear and panic into the collective and has spread like a disease of its own across the whole planet. I was feeling it myself more intensely than ever before. I was shown just how interconnected and dependent we all are.
I was shown that this fear was always there inside each of us, lurking in the shadows waiting to be triggered. This is a fear that has been repressed for generations. I was shown that we had lost sight not only of our individual places in the web of life, but we had lost sight of what it is to be human. So caught up in our habitual ways of living, excessive consumerism and the general rat race. I saw that so many of us disconnected from our heart space and that it is crucial to get back to the heart space during a time like this.
Coming back to the heart by honouring your fear
I began asking myself how often do humans get the opportunity to sit for this long with themselves to slow down and reflect? Many of us will never get the chance to do this again. I managed to begin reframing the situation and seeing this opportunity as a gift to look deeper within.
I could sit here and say “Don’t give in to fear and panic”, “choose love instead”, “trust the process” But personally, I don't find any of these things to be all that helpful. Whilst it is a nice idea, In my experience, it is important to acknowledge your fear, your anxiety and your pain without avoiding them so that you move through these feelings and in turn begin creating the space for the light and divine love to enter into your being. Love doesn't mean repressing or trying to diminish your fear, love also means to face and honour your fear.
Before I could reframe my personal feelings surrounding this current crisis and invite the light into my being, I had to allow myself to feel every heavy feeling that I was experiencing, allow it to teach me and then let it go. I spent a few days exploring each “negative” emotion that arose, allowing it to bubble to the surface and to move in the way that it wanted to move.
Afterall, the path to heaven is pathed through the belly of our own hell. This is the rebirth process. in order to reach the light, we cannot bypass the darkness.
Fear can be debilitating and is not an easy thing to overcome. Especially when the entire planet is feeling it. Fear is a symptom of something much greater. Fear serves its purpose to protect us and alert us of danger. Being in fear is not a comfortable process at all. Moving through fear isn't as simple as “don't be scared”.
We want to honour the spirit of fear, feel it, let it touch us and then let it teach us. On the other side of fear... is fearlessness. It is courage.
What can you do to come back to centre?
I would like to offer some insight on what has helped me to move through the process of fear and back into love with a bit more ease in the last few weeks:
Focusing on what is important to you. Sit and write a list of all the things that really matter to you. On my list I have family, freedom, friends, community, sovereignty over my body and mind, health, human connection, kindness, nature, love, sustainable living, caring for mother earth
Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this situation?”
Create a self-care routine and try to connect with the divine each day. My morning routine consists of yoga (even if I'm crying on the yoga mat!), a long walk in nature, breathwork and meditation. Although it is important to note that creating a routine is a suggestion. You don't need to use this time to hone your skills, educate yourself or learn a new hobby. If you want to spend this time allowing your body and mind to rest. Please do that. This is your personal experience.
Try to feel all of your emotions, honour them, write them down and express them. If you feel angry then scream, if you feel sad then cry. Do not be ashamed or scared to freely allow those emotions to move through you.
Ask for support when you need it
Hold space for those who need it where possible
Try to remember that compassion is also being triggered in the collective and it isn't all doom and gloom out there
Avoid excessive consumption of the media. The media is designed to feed your fear and to keep it alive
Write a list of things that you are grateful for each day
Try not to lose sight of the magic and beauty that is all around us. The bird song, the sunshine, the wind whistling through the trees, humans helping other humans and kindness from strangers (I’ve seen so much of this lately)
Try to reframe the situation if you can
Take up body work if you feel called to
Try not to lose sight of hope
Remember that fearlessness is born out of fear
I have also created a worldwide meditation each evening at 7pm GMT. Many of us worldwide have been joining in this meditation each evening and it feels incredibly powerful. Please feel free to join us. Together we are stronger.
The great awakening
I’ve seen many articles recently suggesting that we are on the cusp of a great awakening here on planet earth. I am praying daily that this is the case. And now I have moved from the fear state, the more that I enquire with my heart whether this is the case, the more I believe that we truly are going through a metamorphosis.
The way I see it now is that we are currently in the birth canal. Birth of any kind is a scary and painful process. Rebirth is equally as destructive and painful.
I wrote a blog last year regarding the rebirth/awakening process that you may find helpful.
As I said earlier, I believe that we are currently being given an opportunity like never before. An opportunity to look within. An opportunity to look deeply at our shadow side and to look at the death of this situation instead of the rebirth and to reject the comfort of spiritual bypassing. An opportunity to truly embody the warrior within and without turning away; experience the decay, the darkness and the breakdown before our collective breakthrough. An opportunity to counterbalance that darkness with our light. What I have learned through my years of shamanic practice is that the key is to love it all, even the deepest darkest parts of humanity. We owe it to the darkness because without it we would not be able to see the light.
Our suffering makes us fully human. We came here to experience the whole spectrum and our pain is the gateway to awakening our most sincere compassion. Emergence and emergency are two sides of the same coin.
From a spiritual perspective, where there is darkness, there is an equal amount of light created. I am seeing deep compassion being ignited in humanity in recent weeks. There is so much kindness on this planet and it’s important to try not to lose sight of that.
We can hope and pray that a new free world is what we will be born into. We can pray that oppression and conformity will soon be our old story. Our new story being one of freedom. Each and every one of us is here for a reason. Deep at the centre of your being lies a well of infinite love, and that love is the most powerful force is the whole universe. Once we have moved through our fear, we can access this well of infinite universal love. We can embody this love and watch as it reverberates throughout the whole cosmos, rippling through the web of life and changing the course of our destiny as a whole.
You are life itself. You are infinite awareness. Your wings may be tattered, but at your core you are whole divine love.
I truly believe that we are the light that we have been waiting for all this time. And now is our time to rise. We are powerful beings dancing in balance between the light and the dark. What a gift it is to be anything at all. Even in these uncertain times. Trust the medicine within. Trust in your own power as a divine being of love and light. Hold on to the love.
Infinite love is the only truth. Everything else is an illusion.
With love,
Rachael
